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[Music] not a life that I choose you loosen on [Music] my so I've always thought of myself as a study tuber and now I'm not studying anymore so I guess it begs the question should I quit YouTube I am at a turning point in my life my last OD to study tube my skillshare course on how to learn is now available one year of research and over 300 evidence-based papers on the science of learning condensed into 20 bite-sized episodes and inspired by my number one bestselling book The only study guide you'll ever need if you're struggling to study for exams you need to check it out the first 500 people to click the link in my description can access my course completely for free for 1 month on skillshare I hope it helps you hi friends so as I enter this new stage of my life after graduation I have been thinking so much about about YouTube and what role it plays in my life and how I want my platforms to look now that I'm no longer in education I don't know how long you guys have been with me but I started this Channel 6 and 1 half years ago when I was 16 I started this channel not because I ever thought that I would be an actal YouTuber but because when I was doing my GCS I was just a very stressed human I did not know how to study for exams I cared so much about school but I was just anxious all the time my parents didn't go to UNI I didn't have older siblings and so I remember going to YouTube looking for support from someone who had gone through the system and maybe had advice for me and there's just no one and so when I did my gcse's and got all a Stars I thought wow like maybe I can be that for someone who needs it and that's kind of how study tube was born like you know the whole eras of study with me and always thinking about revision techniques and making flashcards and read reading evidence-based papers on how to study collabing with good friends and making podcasts with them and then me being inspired to study cognitive science at Uni and Publishing a whole book on learning theory like I never expected this whole journey and I also never expected to be a YouTuber and now I'm really just questioning the future of this Channel and what I want and what I want the purpose of it to be as my life continues to evolve I'm still figuring it out but right now I think I don't want to quit because I still love creating content and I love you guys like literally I just adore this community and in leaning into this new era of my life I feel like I should lean into a new era of content and it's really difficult because it's hard not to cling to all these patterns of how I've made content in the past and what has worked in the past and I'm trying to find willingness to accept transformation if that looks like making less content different content no content content that gets one view from my mom who always watches my videos because she's an angel shout out mom what that looks like investing more in my actual in-person career and offline life it looks like being willing to accept change and understanding that a lot of you guys might not want to come on the next evolutions of my journey and that is okay I'm so sure you guys can relate to changing over time and out growing chapters of your life this feeling of Change Is So uncertain and so uncomfortable you know like looking back at this haircut that you used to love and now you hate it looking back at like evolutions of your style and every time that you were scared to wear something new wear a new color wear a new outfit but the second that you did you found that it suited you more and eventually you look back and you're like wow I'm so glad that I tried that new thing we outgrow music we outgrow routines we outgrow people we outgrow so much and and it's just learning to be okay with that and to realize that that is transformation and that there are so many chapters of our life's book and if we fear the start of every single chapter then we're never going to read the whole book we're never going to get to see what incredible things there are in store for us in our lives you are not who you were when you were 10 years old I am not who I was when I was 16 and starting this Channel and the crazy thing is I can literally like watch my own growth and like life unfolding I can literally witness my own changes and I just need to work out in which ways I want to now change and how much I want to take you guys on these changes with me or if I don't know if the next chapter of my life is more private as we grow and change we have to decide which parts of ourselves to shed and which parts of ourselves to keep which parts of us were a facet of our context or environment or that chapter and which parts of us are more inherent that maybe we want to bring into every future chapter that we have with the future of this channel I'm trying to work out which parts are inherent which parts Will Survive every evolution of who I am and which types of content I would just make less or make not at all and being okay with that okay so I feel this pressure to find my next thing like for so long everything that I've talked about online has in some way related to school or education or studying because I love those things but I do feel that those things just are becoming less relevant to what my life looks like and so I'm like oh I want to like latch onto this this next era but I don't know what the era is and I remember when my friend Jack Jack Edwards um he graduated University his like first year outside of uni was just a misery because he was trying to work out what this next thing was and making you know random content some of which he didn't really love and just feeling lost and like I remember he nearly quit YouTube and we were talking about it but it was through him going through that experimentation and leaning into like the change and transformation that he then became the most incredible Book Creator ever literally revolutionizing the world of book and to me he is such a gorgeous example of coming back to what your inherent interests are and how those will always evolve with you in every stage of life and for him that was reading and books and literature and yeah it's just been amazing like seeing him flourish in that space yeah and so in like thinking about what I want to create I feel this pressure to like be like okay I'm going from study tube to book tube but one of my good friends was so helpful recently and she said Jade you've had all these chapters of your life you've had Jade at school Jade in her Gap here Jade at manura and all of a sudden you want a very specific next Jade you want Jade in this job you want Jade who's interested in this thing but what you need to realize is that Jade in uncertainty is also a chapter and is also something that you can Embrace and you can learn from and you should not fear the uncertainty of not knowing what to do or what to create and I love that advice I that's partly what prompted me to make this video just to remind you that yeah it's really okay to have these like identity crisis life crisis they are the prerequisite to good change and growth oh even though I hate being in it okay but here's the thing as well is even though I'm not actually studying right now I'm not in University I'm not in formal education I truly truly truly love learning studying thinking about education like there's a reason that I then went and studied this at Uni and have talked about it for like six years online like I genuinely love thinking about school school so I'm definitely going to keep learning outside of formal education but also I'm like do I still want to talk about this online like is this something that is like an inherent Love of Mine it doesn't matter if I'm not studying like it's something that I still want to talk about and think about and you know what I did guys so I don't know if this is going to be my final Ode to study tube or whatever but I have made a 20 episode bized course about how to learn based on like 300 academic papers in the space of cognitive psychology and I decided to host my course on skillshare I don't know if you know of skillshare but it's just this amazing online learning community where you can learn like so many incredible creative skills you can find inspiration in everything from productivity like Ali ABDO has an amazing amazing course on there that I've taken it's wonderful or you know creative writing I've done one of their courses creative drawing there's like an amazing one which is chat GPT for creatives like they have courses on literally everything so yeah it feels so cool to say that I have a course now on skillshare I've worked on this course for over a year and I rented a studio space in taipe and one of my good friends who is studying cinematography helped me film the whole thing and then I've just been editing for like ages I cover everything from the science of motivation how to beat procrastination what actually makes an effective study technique based on the science of learning and I discussed five of my absolute favorite study techniques for whatever you're learning I am gen so proud of this course I think it follows on from my book really well and is kind of an Ode to everything that I've spoken about on here to do with studying over the years and partly why I'm hosting it on skillshare is because if you click the link in my description you can actually access my course fully for free for a month I wanted to make it as accessible as possible for you guys and the first 500 people to click the link in my description will actually not only get free 30-day access to my course and to all of skillshare but you can actually get 40 % off like a one-year membership to skillshare which is so amazing especially if you're trying to be a lifelong learner like me and constantly learn new skills get inspiration skill share is just wonderful so definitely definitely check that out and I truly hope this course helps you if you're struggling with studying if you're stressed about exams like I poured a lot of information and heart into it so yes go check it out so what is the future of my YouTube channel what is the future of my life I feel like this is a very mid 20s crisis I really wish I was like a doctor right now or someone with a ro defined path but then having said that I have so many friends who are doctors who I know actually struggle so much and constantly doubt if being a doctor is even for them and especially like NHS Junior doctors in the UK there's so many issues with it so do you know what the Grass Is Always Greener you can look at someone's life and be like I wish I had their life they've got it all figured out and then you just dive a little bit deeper and you realize oh oh they don't actually have it figured out either so I know that it's fine that I don't really know what I want to do with myself right now that's fine because most people feel like that um does it actually practically help me feel better not really I still feel lost so this could be the year that I quit YouTube this could be the year that I find another Niche that I love creating in this could be the year where I post only every month or every two months especially as I'm exploring my inperson career who knows but I really want this platform to stay light and to stay fun and I really want it to be a place where I can serve like that is why I started here that's why I started in study tube is I really just wanted to help people help you guys and so tell me how I can serve you like tell me what you want to see from me which parts of my creative Journey have resonated with you the most what kind of content makes you feel seen I'm going to leave a link down below to this thing called spark Jam where you can send me your ideas for Content or just tell me any thoughts you have on the future direction of my channel so yeah if you have thoughts definitely please share them there please help a little existential girl I hope you have a gorgeous gorgeous rest of your day um my casual magic today it's just a good herbal tea in my Stitch mug in my like absolute gobblet of a mug that's like the size of my head um it just always makes me feel cozy especially when it's training yeah have a good one guys

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[Music] [Applause] i reached my spoon down into the pint of praline pecan it's the perfect last bite gooey caramel swirling around creamy vanilla ice cream with two delicious maple pecans that will add just the right amount of crunch but i can't enjoy this bite you see i've not only eaten the entire container of ice cream but i've also devoured a full bag of popcorn half a package of cookies and 26 hershey's kisses i feel completely sick disgusted i sweep up the remains and i throw them in the trash vowing never to eat that kind of crap again i collapse on the couch after a few hours the cookies in the trash call to me trisha and i answer in a trance i stumble over the trash can find the cookies and polish them off once again my insatiable hunger drives me to new depths of shame what's wrong with me why can't i stop i'm such a loser at age 20 i was 50 pounds overweight i hated my fat i had a roll of fat on my tummy that i would scrunch up in my hands and imagine cutting it off like you cut fat off the side of a steak i sometimes wished i'd contract a disease where i'd automatically lose weight without having to diet i even considered joining the army so i'd be forced to exercise at boot camp i hated to exercise i was a yo-yo dieter up 30 down 20 up 10 and as a result i had several sizes of pants in my closet because i never knew what size i'd be my skinny jeans collected a lot of dust as i wild away years looking for the the hidden solution to overcoming my weight loss problems i found that solution i found that key and it wasn't through a magic diet in fact dozens of studies show that diets generally have a dismal success rate a recent study in the british medical journal follows 22 000 adults on one of 14 popular diets they found that within one year participants regained all the weight they had lost yet if you do a search on amazon right now for diet books you'll get roughly 50 000 results this was my experience no matter what diet i tried of course i'd start out strong i'm doing it looking good feeling good pants getting looser but then after a couple weeks things started to get hard i mean really hard and at some point the tension in my gut would become so unbearable that i would just break down and binge and i always put the weight back on again and then some so the million dollar question is why did it get so hard my experience is that when i would diet all the feelings i had stuffed with excess food would come to the surface and i didn't have the tools i needed to deal with them that's what kept me stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage eating was how i coped with life if i wanted to lose weight and keep it off i had to develop healthier means of coping this changed everything for me when i adopted healthy ways of addressing my emotions and stress my weight stabilized and my relationship with food became so much more peaceful i'm excited to share three of these key ways with you the first key was a change in my perspective instead of focusing on what unhealthy foods were doing to me i started to address instead what they were doing for me pep is an acronym p-e-p the first p stands for painkiller my painkiller of choice praline pecan ice cream of course so after indulging in any form of sugar fat and starch my favorite three food groups i'd feel nothing i was unconsciously using food to anesthetize uncomfortable emotions but my eating ultimately brought on more pain the e stands for escape because when life got a little bit too intense either from family stress financial fear or just overall feelings of anxiety curling up with my favorite foods in front of the tv always took me to a far away place at least momentarily and the third p in pep punishment which seems counterintuitive i know because yummy foods seemed to be a reward but i was hardly rewarding myself when i'd overeat and end up feeling sick yet i did this over and over again you see i was not only an overeater but i was also an over feeler i felt guilty about everything and i was also super hard on myself when i'd make a mistake so when cookies start calling my name i ask myself what's really going on am i trying to perhaps numb painful emotions am i looking to escape from something that's overwhelming or perhaps am i trying to punish myself for something i've said or done that i feel bad about this is an easy way to begin making the connection between my eating and my emotions the second key to finding balance is reducing stress so in my experience both personally and professionally overeaters tend to be overdoers i was always on the go always putting everyone else's needs first never slowing down long enough to catch my breath or eat a healthy meal stress plays a role in elevated cortisol levels and cortisol increases appetite and causes our bodies to store fat instead of burn it so for me an important and crucial piece of the weight loss puzzle was self-care when i began to integrate self-care practices into my life i had more emotional balance and i had more energy and i no longer craved coffee and chocolate for stamina so some of the traits that works best for me that i do every day are meditation and journaling but you may be thinking hey lady i don't have time for self-care i'm a busy professional with a job three kids and a neurotic dog think again when we take time for ourselves we actually increase our capacity to give to others and we're also better equipped to handle life's challenges without turning to food so another key element of self-care was changing ingrained habits that caused my stress so in my work i've observed several traits of emotional eaters that tend to be most common and i refer to these traits as the anatomy of the emotional eater the achilles heel for most including myself is people pleasing so i lacked self-esteem and i chased the atta girls that made me feel worthwhile and as a people pleaser i said yes to everything sure i'll chair the committee happy to host the party and of course i'll do your job and mine and jerry's job no problem i don't know about your experience but any time that i really knocked myself out to try to please somebody they were never as pleased as i planned on them being so i was not only burned out but i was also kind of resentful and this was the perfect storm for justifying yet another i deserve it binge changing this habit by learning how to say no when there's too much on my plate so to speak really helped reduce my stress and my feelings of hunger now the last key in overcoming my emotional eating super important get support from a community of other emotional eaters research shows that group support increases weight loss results and it makes sense right i mean temptations to eat unhealthy foods are everywhere think tv commercials checkout lines at the supermarket and parties so overindulging is a socially acceptable past time that's difficult to curb without support plus i gotta tell you there's nothing more comforting than connecting with those that really know the shame and humiliation of behaviors like digging binge foods out of the garbage so you might be thinking isn't it silly to need help with something as basic and seemingly easy to control is what i put in my mouth not so fast the truth is emotional eating is one of the hardest of the addictive habits to break why because we have to eat what we're up against is a really akin to taking a growling tiger out of the cage trying to pass the nice kitty and then somehow get it back inside the cage without getting mauled not so easy unless you have the right kind of support sarah is a mom wife and award-winning producer who is tired of her dependence on sugar turns out she was numbing her feelings with more than just food things like nicorax gum or evening glass of wine and overworking sarah would often work straight through breakfast and lunch and pay for it with a late night binge she never gave herself time to just chill sarah was at the end of her rope when she reached out for help so within weeks of learning new ways of processing her emotions and addressing her feelings and her stress sarah was not only off all the stimulants that had kept her propped up but she was also feeling so much less anxious sarah was coming home to herself her daughters noticed a difference and even asked how they could adopt these same practices for themselves you can develop the same sense of peace start by taking the pep test and really ask yourself what's going on when you find yourself taking yet another trip to the kitchen is it for perhaps a painkiller an escape or are you feeling bad about something and is it a form of punishment next manage your stress by implementing self-care habits that can help you feel more centered and also take a look at things like people pleasing that may be causing you more stress and finally nourish your soul through connection and community with other emotional eaters that can help you stay accountable and stay on track with your goals these simple steps while having nothing to do with food can make a real impact on your food choices and your ability to reach a weight that works best for you i'll leave you with this i believe we can all enjoy a relationship with food and with ourselves that is both peaceful and self-caring it starts with looking beyond the food for answers thank you [Applause] [Music]

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laughs the answer is yes I did play basketball yeah I remember the exact day and place my entire life changed and I didn't even know it it's April 26th and I'm 18 years old I'm in the gym I'm listening to a podcast as I usually do when I work out and I heard the podcast guest in my ear say something I'd heard so many of these 30 to 60 something psychologists activists authors and Business Leaders say many times before if I had the same mindset now that I did in my teens or 20s I'd be miserable I was such an idiot I remember every time I heard those statements expressed with a laugh it made me feel sad I was entering College I didn't want to be miserable and then I felt actually pretty irritated I refused to be miserable much of this refusal of misery had to do with that just five months earlier I had sat hand in hand with my dad as he passed away after a six-year battle with the terminal disease ALS following that experience I promised myself I would not spend a moment of my life hating it as I learned that time is never promised my irritation intensified as I reflected on the fact that that these personal development leaders are rarely talking to young people specifically this didn't make any sense to me because I thought aren't we the ones that need to know this stuff about growth mindfulness and emotions the most over the next decade I was supposed to determine a field of study or career potentially find a life partner decide where to live handle personal finances and retirement maybe even start a family and many other decisions that had life long impacts but here I was with thousands of other High School seniors receiving the same piece of advice for most of the adults in our lives you've got time you'll figure it out I just don't think you need to worry about it and although this advice is slightly anxiety reducing in the moment we are rarely if ever given practical emotional and decision-making training making the anxiety reducing moments extremely short and fleeting because we didn't know how to navigate these decisions we had to make and so with that aha moment in the gym I found my mission to change the rhetoric of what your teens and 20s could and should be which brings me to today and after a bit more study it turns out teenage Livy had some very valid points two points in specific down to a neurological level how we train our brains now in our 20s truly matters when it comes to setting ourselves up for a less stressful and more fulfilling life your brain is a complex system of neurological Pathways you can think of it like a complex system of Roads the more you drive specific routes the more ingrained those habits and behavioral patterns become and that is why it's so important we start specifically choosing which routes we continue to drive down now because it will be much more painful and difficult to rewire your mind 30 years from now when your mental software has become Hardware and point number two teenage Livy was also on to the fact that the decisions we make in our 20s do matter but that is why we need proper emotional and mental skills to help guide us in those decisions make J PhD clinical psychologist notes in her newly revised book the defining decade these statistics that might shake up any young adult a bit 85 percent of life's most defining moments happen before age 35. not the most important not the best moments but life definers are often happening before your mid-30s your 20s coincide with your Peak child bearing years more than 50 percent of us will be living with dating or married to our life partner by age 30 your earning power is generally decided in your first 10 years of work and as you probably know in your childhood that's where you will have Peak brain development but your personality and your brain changes more in your 20s than any time before or after these statistics show us that the decisions you make in your 20s do in fact matter but to any young adult listening I do want to note these are statistics correlation does not always mean causation but still whether we like it or not we do have some big decisions to make over the next decade let's dig even deeper we are humans not statistics as I mentioned so instead of going to Google I went to humans to create my own type of study on the matter I spent my career thus far talking to today's teens and 20-somethings about what they actually need to feel more prepared for their life I wrote a book answering their questions I started a podcast educating them on the topics that their parents or the education system generally weren't teaching them I created an online platform reaching millions of them worldwide and now I stand here today being a physical representation of what is often represented as a statistic where are our teens and 20-somethings struggling most the Common Thread did not have to do with being addicted to their phones it didn't have to do with being bullied by their peers or being overly stressed about school or work the Common Thread was much more conclusive a feeling of being constantly at war with their minds but it's not the 21st century that is the culprit of this mental Mass distress it's that historically we have rarely if ever put any true emphasis on the development of emotional and decision making skills we need change our young adults our children our parents raising our children and young adults need better mental and emotional skills to better create a future for themselves their families their communities and Society at Large what is going on inside of each of us creates the reality of what is happening outside of each of us these emotional skills these are not what we call soft skills these are life-changing life-saving Society altering skills so how do we make this change well it turns out changing the way Society functions on a mass scale is a little bit difficult which you know is probably not very shocking but still with my work with young people over the years I have found three core pillars of information that can help young people have a simple Foundation of better emotional intelligence better decision making skills and empathetic self-guided growth which brings us to pillar number one unlearning there are many unhelpful social constructs that weigh down today's youth being the great on your paper determines your intelligence or you're supposed to be nothing but young and dumb right now or my personal favorite this needs to be the best time of your life so annoying but the most harmful of all is the way many of us are socially conditioned to determine what a happy and successful life looks like and how to actually achieve it my dad was a very money Driven Man caring but very money driven and as his daughter I inherited a lot of that money driven energy the idea that if I just made enough money that's where I would find peace but for years I watched that same mindset tear him apart absolutely destroying his ability to have peace and I didn't want that so I asked myself okay if I can't determine the success of my life based off of money or status power net worth how do I determine that I'm living a successful life how do I gauge it and I contemplated that question for a really long time until I found an answer living in alignment living in alignment is aligning your core priorities your actions and your thoughts with your deepest core values so when your head hits the pillow at night and you can ask yourself am I living as aligned as I can in this moment and you can truthfully answer that question with yes that is what peace feels like because there's nothing more to long for with that mindset the only person that is in charge of your success is you and that's a very blissful fulfilling and freeing feeling I urge you to take audit of what social conditionings and mindsets you have inherited question why you think believe act or speak in the way that you do and from there you can reconstruct your views to be more aligned with you and the future that you want to have for yourself as we unlearn social conditionings we free up space to then create an authentic way of being which brings us to pillar number two being how do we design an authentic way of being for ourselves what does that mean in order to align our way of being we must become healthier and more self-aware individuals so how do we do this most of you I would imagine know the common answers to this question therapy journaling meditation breath work reading and other growth methods but what I want to talk to you about is why we do these things why put forth the effort because if you've gone through any sort of intentional growth process you know it's pretty gruesome and it's pretty hard so why do we do this I want you to think of it like this for analogy's sake let's say your life goal is to build a house but you've never built a house before so the only way that you can do this is by building your house in the way everyone around you teaches you to build a house and after 20 years of living in this house that you built you come to realize that maybe some of the practices people taught you about building a house probably weren't the best and you know this because there's areas of your house that are starting to warp or crumble or malfunction we use these growth methods to gain the tools that no one ever taught us we can then use those tools to rebuild so we can live in a house that doesn't feel like it's consistently falling apart as we learn how to reconstruct our views in a way that is more aligned for each of us our foundation becomes sturdier as our communication skills improve the leaking in our bathroom stops as we learn to trust people again our AC kicks back on as we learn how to better emotionally regulate and pillar number three is doing some years ago I had convinced my mom to jump out of a plane with me in New Zealand and she'd asked me if I'd checked the safety record for this company that we were jumping with and I told her I had I didn't um and so as we were sitting in the parking lot I started looking up reviews and articles and it turns out a plane of theirs had crashed just a month earlier um but no one died so I figured that we'd probably be fine so like the wonderful daughter I am I told my mom it was perfectly safe and we went inside and considering that I'm here today and she's in the audience we did live so that's that's good um but the interesting thing about skydiving is that it doesn't at all feel how you expect the world always made it seem so scary and chaotic but it's not that scary and it's not very chaotic you're falling too fast for your brain to even recognize what's happening and before you know it you're just slowly floating and you're enjoying the view skydiving is more Serene than anything else and I've come to realize that making bold changes in our life is very much similar to skydiving the people in our life that have never jumped have never actually gone skydiving are generally the ones that are giving it the reputation of it being so scary and chaotic the same goes for making bold changes the people that have never actually done it or understand that they even can are usually the people that are making us or contributing to us feeling afraid quitting a job you hate or coming out to your parents ending the relationship that you know is not serving you is scary it is very scary but if it does feel right and there's a way to make it work it will bring you more peace than chaos it will bring you more peace than chaos it will allow you to live more aligned and that is why it will bring you this underlying essence of Peace the courage to jump when you know you're being self is urging you to do so that is the art of pillar number three doing unlearning being and doing the concepts that I teach are not wildly unique and yet when I share them with young people they harvest life-changing results when I share these simple mental and emotional skills I get feedback DMS and messages like this I'm 18 years old and I'm raising me and my little sister in a small apartment and your videos have helped with so much of the stress I read your book and I don't feel so afraid anymore or I considered making another suicide attempt last night and your videos saved my life we must stop this generational cycle of underdeveloped mental and emotional skills as it is one of the deepest roots of societal suffering to any young person listening our 20s don't need to be so confusing and they don't need to be miserable start being intuitive and intentional as soon as possible no waiting for a traumatic event or the stereotypical midlife crisis to change and to grow take radical responsibility as soon as possible as this is where joy and fulfillment are born an idea we're spreading to every teen and twenty something the sooner you grow the better thank you [Applause]

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